Forest Says – Vol. 9

A few funnies from Forest as of late.  (alliteration for the win!)

While filing Peyton’s nails-

F: One day you’re going to like this. You’re going to pay people to do this. Because you’re a girl.


As I’m getting out of bed (for the 3rd time in an hour) because Peyton is fussing-

F: We’ll be here.


C: I better go to bed before I can’t (assuming Peyton would wake up in the middle of the night). When we have 2 and they’re both crying you’ll have to get up with one of them.

F: I can solve that problem with math. 1 and 2 (as he points to each of MY arms).


As I’m getting back into bed in the middle of the night-

F: Everything alright?

C: Yeah. Can you listen to the monitor in case Peyton cries? I’ll be right back.

F: Duh. That’s what I’m here for.

(he was asleep before I got back…)


To Peyton as he was leaving for work-

F: Don’t grow anymore while I’m at work today.


To me as he’s holding Peyton as she sleeps in his arms-

F: She has my face. Except for her eyes, that’s 100% my face. Is she going to be ugly??


Seeing an acorn garland hanging on the kitchen shelves-

F: That’s new. Craft time today?

C: No. I found that at Target today.

F: Oh. We paid for that.


The night before attending his first NASCAR race-

F: How do you cheer at a race? What am I supposed to do tomorrow?


As Indie climbed into his lap on the new chair in the den-

F: I don’t know if you’re allowed up here. But legally this is my chair anyway.


As I start to rub his shoulders-

F: oh yeah, I just remembered I did weights today.

C: oh yeah?

F: yeah. I remembered ‘cause it hurts. It’s really tight on this one side.

C: I feel it. How do you work this out?

F: If I was a professional athlete I’d probably take an ice bath.

C: Well what would a trainer do?

F: Stretch.

C: I’ve told you to stretch. Why don’t you?

F: I stretch my legs and my back, not my shoulders.

C: Well try this (demonstrating stretching arms across my chest).

F: I feel that through my triceps, not my altoid.


After eating a couple apples while apple picking-

F: so if we get parasites we know it’s because we ate dirty apples.


In a text during lunch, after my 3rd day back at work-

F:  You’re probably gonna get to go shoe shopping this weekend.

Check out other volumes HERE.

Until next time — Cindy


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